Rednecks are like dogs because . . .

Rednecks love a good dog. They prefer the sporting dogs because they come when they're called, they're loyal, and some of 'em will even go get you a beer.

Sporting dogs main two appetites are similar to a redneck's--hunting and humping. If they aren't eating, they're looking for something to eat, and if they're not humping, they're looking for something to hump, and man nor beast seem really particular about what gets humped or hunted.

Which is why I prefer my dogs a bit more sophisticated (I'm still working on my taste in men).