Thursday, April 16, 2009


Some random thoughts on Redneckedness,

The question is, why would any woman who isn’t of the redneck persuasion marry one of these men?

That question came up at Pulpwood Queen Kathy Patrick’s Girlfriend Weekend, when a panel of lone star literati, end for some reason, me.

It was a fabulous weekend, I got to meet, have lunch, and drink bourbon and Diet Coke with Sara Bird, Carol Dawson, Cyndi Hughes, David Marion Wilkinson, and THE fabulous Sam Barry of Harper Collins who still owes me for the tiara he swiped during the downing of said bourbon and Diet Cokes. We'll talk later, Sam :)

The final question posed to the panel was, “Why don’t people in other states like Texans?” And while the rest panel pondered this question with wit and brilliance, I could only offer one word: Redneckedness.

Redneckedness is a special brand of crazy, of which Texans take great pride. I hear up north, they lock their crazy up in the attic. In Texas, we prop ‘em up on the sofa and invite the neighbors over for iced tea.

While rednecks are not locked up (though they are often incarcerated), they do sometimes roam freely about the country, inflicting their redneckedness on unsuspecting strangers.

It was one such case with my own personal redneck that I used to illustrate the profound affect rednecks have on people outside the state of Texas.

We were heading to California to visit my sister and step-brother. My sister was working, and my urbane step-brother, who happens to be half Japanese, suggested we visti a winery.

Texas rednecks are easily identified by their uniform—Wrangler jeans, boots, and some sort of t-shirt in disrepair, topped with a gimme cap proclaiming a slogan for cars, beer and or Tito’s Titty Bar.

Of course, there will also be an image of the Texas flag somewhere on their person, and often on their underwear.

I know of no other state where people would wear their flag on thong underwear, or for that matter would want to. But in doing so, Texans can go anywhere in the world with the state flag up their butt.

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Barnes & Noble Round Rock Signing

Barnes & Noble Round Rock Signing
My friend Pantera with Tahoe & Me

Tahoe and a new friend at the signing